Change, Risks, and Sisters: Book Club Questions for To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Aug 11

3 min read

Updated: 22 hours ago

Korean girl in pink and black jacket writing in a notebook

Age: YA (14+)

Genre: Romance

Reading the series?

Don’t miss the book club guides for P.S. I Still Love You (book 2) and Always and Forever, Lara Jean (book 3).

Quick Review of To All The Boys I've Loved Before

Netflix did a good job translating this YA romance into a movie, but a certain something was lost: a quietness that seems like it shouldn’t have done well in our loud, fast-paced world but did anyway. Rather than epic scenes escalating to a punchy climax, the book is dozens of small moments, conversations, and thoughts strung together to make you fall in love as gradually as the characters do. And isn’t that a wonderful kind of love story?

Book Club Questions

Lara Jean prefers to have relationships play out in her head, even turning down opportunities to form real-life ones because “it’s scary when it’s real.” Eventually, Lara Jean learns the value of taking risks and being vulnerable. When have you taken a risk on a relationship, romantic or otherwise? What was the result?
In what ways does Margot play the role of mother to her younger sisters? How do you think having played that role impacts Margot’s choices, attitudes, and reactions throughout the book?
Name the ways Lara Jean resists change. What is the turning point for her to accept change as positive? How do you view change?
Kitty is known for holding grudges while Lara Jean can’t stay mad. How does this inform both characters’ actions throughout the book? Which side of the spectrum do you fall on?
Like a parent, Margot struggles with her younger sisters growing up and not needing her anymore. What’s your best advice to a parent navigating that change? What about to a teen?
With Margot at college, Lara Jean feels like they’re drifting apart. She notes, “by the time you finally see each other, you’re catching up only on the big things . . . But the little things are what make up life.” Do you think geographic distance automatically creates emotional distance? Are there ways you’ve found to remain close with far-off loved ones?
Lara Jean frequently describes her clothing choices. Why do you think the author emphasized this detail?
Multiple people (Margot, Peter, Kitty, LJ’s father) push Lara Jean to take risks and expand her world. Which of Lara Jean’s risks was particularly meaningful to you? Who has pushed you to take a chance and broaden your horizons?
Margot tightly controls her emotions while Lara Jean wears hers on her sleeve. Who are you more like? What are the pros and cons of each approach?
Do you think Peter is truly over Gen? Defend your answer.
Josh thinks Peter is a douche; Peter thinks Josh is a tool. In your opinion, does either of them have a point, or do they dislike each other simply because of their shared interest in Lara Jean?
Like Josh, have you ever been surprised to learn of someone’s feelings toward you (positive or negative)? What was your experience rearranging how you felt about that person?
The book heavily emphasizes sister relationships. What are the strengths of the Song girls’ relationship? If you have sisters (biological or found family), what are the strengths of your relationship?